The asexual community does not only exist on the Internet.
Men and women who assume and claim their asexuality, have passed the stage of pure virtual. Meetings and various events allow you to meet in the flesh. In everyday life, a few symbols allow asexuals to recognize themselves, regardless of organized activities — flag, logo, identity object.
THE FLAG OF ASEXUALITY:
The symbols of asexuality have 4 colors on horizontal stripes: black/grey/white/purple.
Black for asexuality, grey for hypo and
Colors are a little sad for my taste. But, This asexual flag is the result of a vote carried on all the asexual forums around the world.
Asexual come out of the closet and Find a Community:
Not being attracted to boys, I told myself as a teenager that I was shy. In college, I thought I wasn’t ready. Later, when a therapist persuaded me to take a path to discover sex, I did not want to do the timidest exercises.
It was only in my forties that I concluded that I was asexual, just not interested in sex, and not equating sex with love.
It was an unusual coming out: at an event that celebrates sex in all its aspects, a group declares its intention not to want any.
This action shows how vital gender identity is to self-esteem. But the public emergence of asexuals raises questions among researchers specializing in sexuality about sexual identity, as well as the link between the feelings many asexuals feel and sexual attraction.
“We are not out of control”
“This raises questions about the nature of love,” says Anthony Bogaert, a sexologist at Brock University in Ontario, Canada, who estimated the prevalence of asexuality in 2004 based on a study of British people, 1% of whom reported never feeling sexually attracted to anyone.
David Jay, a 27-year-old San Francisco resident, explains: “We need to know that we are not out of control. All my life, I’ve been told that you need sex to be happy.
Pride was an important milestone for Jay, a student at the Presidio School of Management. 9 years earlier, as a teenager who couldn’t understand why everyone but himself was so determined to lose his virginity.
To be respected as Asexual
Jay and the asexual community on the Internet, which includes 30,000 members worldwide, do not seek to create new civil rights. What they want is respect in a culture obsessed with sex.
Asexuality has only been studied occasionally, but the few researchers who have examined it closely in recent years say that it can be a sexual identity similar to heterosexual, bisexual or gay identities.
Dr. Lori Brotto, a sexuality expert at the University of Vancouver, Canada, said she was extremely skeptical about the existence of A as a sexual orientation. But in 2007, she discovered not only a low sexual desire but also little distress about it, among these people, unlike people with sexual dysfunctions who seek treatment to cure them.
Recently, Brotto has shown erotic films to about 40 women, including asexuals, heterosexuals, lesbians and bisexuals. The physiological reactions measured during these projections are identical in all these women, demonstrating that it is not a question of sexual dysfunction, but rather a question of sexual orientation.
Some asexuals are emotionally straight, gay or bi, and some have no sentimental attraction. They go out together, or have dates with “sexual” people, trying to find a compromise in bed.
Cathy Roberts is worried about not finding someone to grow old with:”For me, she’ll have to be asexual and lesbian, and then there’s the compatibility issue.”
No common culture:
The birth of the asexual movement was also difficult due to the absence of cultural markers such as those promoted by the gay community (dress codes or bars where to meet, for example).
It is in this context that the Internet, a great unifier of obscure groups, and David Jay, a young, charismatic and handsome boy, intervene, a man who could find someone to make love with if he wanted to.
Jay remembers his loneliness as a teenager, which led him to search the Web for the term “asexual”. All he found was amoeba research. He started AVEN and remembers the first asexual who contacted him: “We had a long and intense discussion, talking about all those things that no one else could understand”.
Jay likes to think that non-sexual relationships are as rewarding and stimulating as sexual relationships.
There are other signs of this momentum in the importance of the asexual community. Bogaert is writing a book on asexuality, a New York production company has a documentary in the pipeline, and in New Zealand, a sitcom features the first clearly identified asexual character on television.